Dating apps have turned meeting people into a game of rapid-fire pattern recognition. You have maybe three seconds and six photos to decide if someone is worth your time — and somehow also figure out whether they’re emotionally available, honest about what they want, and not going to be weird about meeting in real life.

Read the bio like a document, not a vibe check

Green flags: Specific personal details, self-aware humour, clear about what they’re looking for, asks a question that invites response.

Red flags: ‘I hate doing this’ framing, an extensive list of what they don’t want before anything they do want, defensive disclaimers.

Look at photos for patterns, not just appearance

  • All group photos with no clear indication of who they are — usually a red flag.
  • All heavily filtered with zero candid content — worth noticing.
  • One photo — almost always a red flag unless the profile is otherwise extremely detailed.
  • Green flag: Variety — clear face, doing something they care about, with friends.
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Pro-tip

Reverse image search a profile if something feels off. It takes 10 seconds and has saved people from catfishing situations more times than you’d think.

The opening message tells you everything

Green flags: They referenced something specific from your profile, casual but curious, not performing.

Red flags: Generic openers with nothing personal, immediately flirty or sexual, asking for your number before you’ve had a real conversation.

Watch how they handle slow replies

  • Do they go cold the second you don’t reply immediately, then come back hot? Classic inconsistency cycle.
  • Do they guilt-trip you for being busy? That’s a control behaviour.
  • Do they match your energy without making it weird? Good sign.

The move to real life reveals everything

  • Green: Specific, public, reasonable first date suggestion. Flexible without being flaky.
  • Red: Makes plans and cancels repeatedly. Pushes to meet at someone’s place before meeting in public.
  • Trust the low-level discomfort you keep explaining away. It rarely resolves on its own.

Checklist

  • Read the bio for how they think about others, not just their job
  • Check for photo variety and candid shots
  • Notice whether their opener showed any real effort
  • Give myself permission to unmatch without needing a reason