If the thought of making a phone call sends a little spike of dread through your chest, you’re not weird. The synchronous, real-time, no-take-backs nature of a phone call feels exposing in a way that a message doesn’t. But avoiding it compounds the anxiety.
Understand what’s actually happening
Phone anxiety is usually a combination of: fear of saying the wrong thing (you can’t edit a spoken word), no visual cues, real-time pressure, and catastrophising about the other person’s reaction. Most of these fears are rational responses to a higher-stakes communication format.
Prepare before you dial
- Write out your opening line. Literally: ‘Hi, my name is [name] and I’m calling about [specific thing].’
- List the three to five things you need to accomplish or ask on the call.
- Anticipate the most likely questions and have your answers ready (account number, reference, etc.).
Pro-tip
If a call is making you anxious, write a script. Not to read verbatim — just to give your brain an anchor. Having the words on paper makes the real-time pressure much more manageable.
Address the physical anxiety first
- Box breathing before calling: in for 4, hold for 4, out for 4, hold for 4.
- Stand up. Something about calling while standing feels more confident.
- Remove distractions — close tabs, give yourself a clean environment to focus.
Use low-stakes calls to build confidence
Rebuild the skill gradually. Start with easy, outcome-independent calls: a takeaway order, a dental appointment booking, a quick customer service call. Each successful call is evidence against the belief that calls go badly. The anxiety decreases with exposure.
Have recovery phrases ready
- ‘Can you give me just a moment?’
- ‘Sorry, I missed that last part — could you repeat it?’
- ‘Let me just make a note of that.’
- ‘I want to make sure I’ve got that right — can you confirm [thing]?’