Sextortion is when someone threatens to share your intimate photos or videos unless you pay them money or send more content. It often starts with what feels like a genuine connection — a match, a flirty chat, someone who seemed real — and then flips fast into threats and demands. It is one of the most frightening things that can happen online, and it is happening to a lot of people, especially young men targeted for money.

If this is happening to you right now: take a breath. This is a crime being committed against you. You are the victim, not the guilty party, and there is a clear, calm path through it. The most important thing is to not do what the panic is telling you to do.

First, what NOT to do

  • Do not pay. Paying almost never makes it stop — it signals you’ll pay again, and the demands usually escalate.
  • Do not send more content or keep engaging with their demands, for the same reason.
  • Do not panic-comply with anything — the urgency and fear are the tools they’re using against you.
  • Do not suffer in silence. Shame is exactly what they’re banking on to keep you isolated and paying.

What to do instead, step by step

  1. Stop responding to the blackmailer — disengage completely; every reply feeds the leverage.
  2. Preserve evidence before blocking — screenshot the profiles, messages, threats, usernames, and any payment details.
  3. Deactivate or lock down (don’t delete) the accounts they’re using to reach you, once evidence is saved.
  4. Report it to the platform, and to the police or your country’s cybercrime/reporting service — this is a crime.
  5. Use specialist takedown help — organisations exist to get intimate images removed, especially for under-18s.
  6. Tell someone you trust; carrying this alone makes it far heavier, and support changes everything.
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Paying makes it worse, not better

It feels like paying will make the nightmare end. It almost never does — it marks you as someone who pays and the demands typically keep coming. The path that actually ends it is refusing to pay, cutting contact, preserving evidence, and reporting. That’s counterintuitive under pressure, which is why it helps to decide it in advance.

If images have been or might be shared

There are dedicated services that help get intimate images taken down from platforms, and reporting to them can stop or limit the spread. If you are under 18, or the images are of someone under 18, this is child sexual abuse material — report it immediately to the police and specialist child-protection organisations, who treat it with urgency. Search for your country’s official cybercrime and image-abuse reporting services, and see our support and helplines page for where to find real help.

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Don’t let shame keep you silent

Sextortion works because of embarrassment — they’re betting you’ll be too ashamed to tell anyone or report it. You have nothing to be ashamed of; you were targeted by a criminal, often a professional running this as a scam at scale. The people you tell — trusted friends, family, police, support services — will want to help, not judge you.

Look after yourself, and prevent a repeat

This is genuinely traumatic, and the fear and shame can hit hard — please treat your mental health seriously and reach out to someone; if you’re in crisis, contact local emergency services or a helpline (our support page lists options by country). Once you’re through it, tightening up your accounts helps prevent a repeat — see protecting your privacy on social media and avoiding online scams, since sextortion is often run like a scam by strangers who move fast toward this. It is not your fault, and it can be handled.

Checklist

Written by Niharika Parashar

Frequently asked questions

What should I do if someone is threatening to share my photos?
Don’t pay and don’t send more content — paying almost never stops it and usually escalates the demands. Stop responding, preserve evidence by screenshotting profiles, messages, threats, and payment details before blocking, then report it to the platform and to the police or your country’s cybercrime service, because this is a crime. Use specialist image-takedown services, and tell someone you trust. You are the victim here, and there is a clear path through it.
Should I pay a sextortion blackmailer?
No. Paying almost never makes it stop — it signals that you’ll pay, and the demands typically continue or escalate. It feels under pressure like paying will end the nightmare, but the path that actually ends it is refusing to pay, cutting off contact, preserving evidence, and reporting to the authorities. Deciding this in advance helps, because the urgency and fear are exactly the tools being used against you.
Is sextortion a crime?
Yes. Threatening to share someone’s intimate images unless they pay money or send more content is a crime, and you are the victim, not the offender. It should be reported to the platform and to the police or your country’s cybercrime and image-abuse reporting service. If anyone involved is under 18, it is treated as child sexual abuse material and should be reported immediately to police and specialist child-protection organisations, who act with urgency.
How do I get intimate images taken down?
There are dedicated services and organisations that help remove intimate images from platforms, and reporting to them can stop or limit the spread — especially important if anyone in the images is under 18. Report to the platforms directly as well, and to your country’s official image-abuse or cybercrime service. Check a trusted support and helplines resource for the services available in your region, as these vary by country.
I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone about sextortion — what do I do?
Sextortion works precisely because of that embarrassment — offenders bet you’ll be too ashamed to tell anyone or report it, which keeps you isolated and paying. You have nothing to be ashamed of; you were targeted by a criminal, often running this as a scam at scale against many people. The friends, family, police, and support services you tell will want to help, not judge. Reaching out is what actually ends it and protects your wellbeing.

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