Criticism triggers a defensive reflex in everyone — your brain treats it like a threat. But how you respond to feedback, especially at work, quietly shapes how far you go. The move is to stay open long enough to find what's useful.

In the moment

  • Pause before reacting. A breath stops the defensive snap.
  • Listen for the point, not the tone. Even clumsy feedback often contains something true.
  • Ask a clarifying question: “Can you give me a specific example?” It buys time and gets you specifics.

Separate the signal from the delivery

Some criticism is fair, some is badly delivered, some is just wrong. Take the useful part, leave the rest. You don't have to accept all of it to learn from some of it.

“Thanks for telling me — let me think about that. Can you point to where it went wrong so I can fix it?”
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Don't do these

Don't argue on the spot, don't make excuses, and don't take it as a verdict on your worth. Feedback is about the work, not the person.